I’ve always struggled to be a lady. Well what I thought a lady should be. When I thought lady, I thought skirts and heels, lipstick and perfect hair all of which absolutely jar the life out of me. When I thought lady, I thought soft, one who never raised her voice, always looked pretty and for goodness sakes NEVER EVER GOT INTO A FIGHT.
Like I said I have ALWAYS struggled to be a lady.Behaving boyishly wasn’t just a phase. It was a guard. I found it was easier to not be emotional, throw a punch instead of articulate my feelings, not control my temper, and keep away from any kind of temptation or male attention by wearing baggy jumpers and behaving like one of them. And for the most part of my tomboyish life I couldn’t have cared less, but this year it really started to niggle at me.
“Come on Jessica, you’re twenty one now. It’s time to put away the Air Forces, the baggy jumpers and the boyfriend jeans. No man is going to want a boy for a wife.”
And I began to PANIC! I tried to start changing the way I dressed, tried to start acting like a lady but it really failed because I didn’t have a clue HAHA. And truth be told I didn’t want to change myself. I knew some of these traits were wrong but there was a part of my character I knew is just genuinely the way I’m made. I’m comfortable with how I’m created but I felt PRESSURE coming from so many places and so many people. So I started to pray about it. And God answered me. I didn’t wake up and suddenly fall in love with lipstick and dresses but this was made clear to me…
As far as I knew, there’s difference between being a lady and a woman. But my perception was warped. No, being a lady isn’t about wearing dresses everyday, perfect hair and smelling good. But the reason that such is associated with that is because it’s about COMPOSURE. Being a lady is about the way you carry yourself. Making sure you present yourself WELL. And that is a fantastic trait. It comes naturally to some females and others (like me) have to work at it.
With that being said, being a lady is still about the exterior.
What about the interior? The internal. The heart of a female. Character. Personality. The core?
I believe this is what being a woman is. Just like a male grows from being a boy matures he becomes a man, it is the same for a woman.
Becoming a woman is nothing to do with the physical. It’s CHARACTER. Understanding who it is that you are. It’s integrity. It’s being able making wise decisions even in the most difficult of circumstances, being able to look after a home. Being caring, loving, compassionate and gentle WHILST being able to maintain your STRENGTH.
And whilst we hold our strength, I do believe we must be able to have composure too. And drawing closer to God has made me realise this and by his grace, been able to execute it. When someone gets on our last nerve, we do not rear our ugly heads, scream and shout or cause a scene. We remain composed (like a lady) and deal with every situation gently. Yes easier said than done and no this does not make you a doormat, but grace and humility is what we as woman simply MUST be able to execute on a daily basis. Angry? Remain composed, keep calm, and deal with it not from your anger or frustration, but from a steady mind. Being able to control emotions and not let them get the better of us, but instead control THEM and still being able to speak from the right place is a STRENGTH.
And this is where being a woman can result in becoming a lady. Because the decision you start to make on the inside will overflow into the outside. Because becoming a woman with a gentle and composed spirit will have a direct impact on the way you carry yourself.The closer I get to God and allow him to change me from the inside, it’s becoming evident that by his merciful grace I am very slowly and extremely steadily becoming a gracious, gentle-spirited woman and little lady of God. And I’m doing it all in trainers 😉